In February of 2000, my relationship ended with my best friend. No point in going through the reasons why, but it just ended. Like that, with no "f**k you" or harsh words or even "don't ever call me again".
At the time, I was sort of relieved because we'd been on each others' nerves more than usual, though honestly I just thought we were "on a break" (shades of Friends) and that it would be a few months at most. Well, here we are, almost 9 years later...
A couple of weeks ago I was suffering from existential angst and made a list of everything I was sorry for. I kept each thing I was sorry for succinct, one sentence only. It was 5 pages long, lol. Hey, I'm neurotic, everything is my fault, and besides, I've had a colorful life and I've left a few dead bodies in my wake. She was on the list.
She really was my best friend, we were like sisters we had been lucky to choose. Losing our friendship was worse than my divorce from the father of my children. I've spent years being hurt and confused over the whole thing.
A week after I made my list, I saw my ex-friend in a store. My first instinct was to steer my cart away and down another aisle, and to get far, far away to the other side of the store. Then I said (to myself), "Don't be an asshole", and walked over to her and said hello.
She grabbed me and hugged me and was so happy to see me. We had dinner last night. It really was just like old times, except for the part where she's become a Christian and isn't a bad girl anymore, lol. Will it work out, the Born-Again and the Heathen? I dunno, but I'm happy she's back in my life.
A nice prelude to a new year.
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